Healing

     I'm not quite sure who "they" are, but "they" say that time heals all wounds.  I suppose they are generally correct in this statement but they leave out one tiny little detail, they don't tell you how much time it will take:)  It has been two weeks since my baby girl Duchess went to heaven and although things have gotten better each day, I don't know if any amount of time in the world will ever heal this would completely.  We have done a really good job of focusing on the extraordinary life that she had instead of the last few months which has helped a lot, but my heart still hurts a little every time I think about her.  I suppose this is perfectly natural and probably just a reminder that "they" were also right when they said she will never be forgotten.  How could she be?

     I have been blessed over the past couple weeks to receive countless phone calls and texts from friends and family expressing to me how Duchess had touched their lives.  Many of these people have shared a memory they have of her while bird hunting that had stuck in their heads and will continue to forever.  I realized after listeneing to a few of these stories that I should no longer be sad to have lost my best friend, I should be proud to have been lucky enough to be the guy chosen to be her dad!  I was lucky enough to be the guy who got to show Duch all the different waterfowl hunting spots that I did and put her in the position to be able to shine while retrieving, the one thing in life she lived to do!  These people had not only opened my eyes to how Duchess had touched their lives, but they made me think about all of the great times we had together.  

     I was talking to a cousin of mine a few days after my revelation and we were discussing why this is such a huge phase in the grieving process and although it is arguably the point we all hope to get to, it is the most difficult phase to reach!  I think when a loved one of ours passes away it often takes way more than a few phone calls telling us how great this person was to get to this point.  I don't know why.  We spend our entire time on this planet doing the best we can to honor God and trying to become more like Jesus, all with the promise of eternal life that is joyous beyond our wildest dreams!  Yet when a loved one goes to heaven we are saddened for days, weeks, months, or sometime years.  Aren't we looking at it backwards?  Shouldn't we be happy for this loved one to have reached the starting line, instead of being sad because we think they have reached the finish?  I know it's a difficult thought to wrap our heads around but if your grieving a loved one, doesn't matter whether it's a pet, parent, sibling, or friend, try to think only of the great things they had done while here on earth and understand that as profound as those things were, the life they have now is even better!!  I guarantee you will start to feel better about your loss, I know I did with Duchess.  

     So I guess "they" were right after all, time really does heal all wounds.  But it doesn't heal them by making us forget the loved one we've lost, rather redirecting our thoughts of this loved one to remembering only the great things, and understanding that what they have now is even better!  Each time I see a flock of geese now I think of Duchess and I know she is waiting for me to come join her so she can show me retrieves that are even better than the ones in my memory right now:)

Remember, never forgotten, always remembered, always loved!